Things just so messed up today.. I slept around 4 am after Subh prayer and wakeup around 7.30 am to get ready to send Ainaa to kindergarten. I had an important meeting today..well at least that's what I thought - to settle on Master Thesis topic. Ainaa is still crying till her voices run out when I wanted to left her in KiTa and I still don't have the solution for that, and to make matters worse my head kept spinning from the lack of sleep. I thought I would be ready for the so-called interview at 11.00 am but it turns out to be something else.
You know, in Germany people will call you by your last name. In fact I think all over the world except my homeland. Since my name is Nurdiana Nordin, I get called Frau Nordin all the time. But in Kindergarten, since they know Nazrin and I are married and I don't use his surname (which is of course NOT possible anyway), they started calling me Frau Mohd Nazrin (as in pronounced -Mod Nazrin). I just don't want to explain why my name doesn't change to them because it would be a long story and I don't know whether they can understand me, so I get used to the name Frau Mod Nazrin.
Back to the story, I got a phone call asking for Mrs. Nazrin on Nazrin's cell. Well, he was speaking in Deutsch before so I couldn't get the pronunciation clearly and I just said I'm the one. He started asking whether it is possible to come tomorrow (today that is!) for "an interview" for the Master topics I've chosen. Since my mind was preoccupied by it for few weeks already, without even thinking who that is, I just said yes. So, last night I slept rather late reviewing all previous works on stereoscopic and machine vision algorithms which is sadly to no avail in the expense of what I have gone through today.
At 11.00 am, I waited in the hall to see the guy, and I was surprised because he was not supposed to be the guy I should work with. Well, I thought probably he's the colleague of the other guy, so I just followed him. And it just hit me home run when I saw what he was about to tell me. It is the same topic that Nazrin has been telling me for days that it is the one HE wants to do. Screw me! Thinking of no way out because the guy had already gone along the way by calling his other PhD colleague to explain to me what the matter is, I just went along with them. For the first few minutes, my brain went blank because honestly, I had no idea whatsoever what this thing is..because it is NAZRIN's fav thing. I really wanted to bang my head to the wall for being so careless. But I really gave credit to those guys though, the project is amazing and the possibility of generating useful applications are tremendous.
Anyway, after everything finished I really don't have the mood to go to Emmy Noether Campus (which is in town 25 minutes away from Paul Bonatz building where ZESS is located) to return my already-fined-for-returning-late books and went home instead and blurt out everything to Nazrin. He was pissed off. I knew from his face (well of course, it's 4 years of marriage already, he can't hide those expressions from me!) and even though I said I'm sorry for being so careless; he just ignored me. You know, this is the absolute reason why I hate marrying someone from your own class..he just thought of you as competitor! I don't know why it hits me like that, but seeing his face with some kind of judgment that I want to stole the topic from him is ridiculous. Well, of course I want to succeed by doing things that I like but that doesn't mean by crushing someone else down!
You know, Nazrin is more than a husband.. he's my best friend, my very own Susan Mayer (only he's actually a guy!).. and I hate when we started fighting because even though he doesn't talk much.. we're comfortable in silence (if u know what I mean..) It's just that, I really wanna see him succeed more than anything in the world and I just don't understand that why he sees me as his competitor rather than just a stupid, careless, talkative-big mouth wife. Give it up already!
Well, I hope I am sorry after I published this to the web.. because if I don't; I am really a stupid, careless, talkative-big mouth wife.
You know, in Germany people will call you by your last name. In fact I think all over the world except my homeland. Since my name is Nurdiana Nordin, I get called Frau Nordin all the time. But in Kindergarten, since they know Nazrin and I are married and I don't use his surname (which is of course NOT possible anyway), they started calling me Frau Mohd Nazrin (as in pronounced -Mod Nazrin). I just don't want to explain why my name doesn't change to them because it would be a long story and I don't know whether they can understand me, so I get used to the name Frau Mod Nazrin.
Back to the story, I got a phone call asking for Mrs. Nazrin on Nazrin's cell. Well, he was speaking in Deutsch before so I couldn't get the pronunciation clearly and I just said I'm the one. He started asking whether it is possible to come tomorrow (today that is!) for "an interview" for the Master topics I've chosen. Since my mind was preoccupied by it for few weeks already, without even thinking who that is, I just said yes. So, last night I slept rather late reviewing all previous works on stereoscopic and machine vision algorithms which is sadly to no avail in the expense of what I have gone through today.
At 11.00 am, I waited in the hall to see the guy, and I was surprised because he was not supposed to be the guy I should work with. Well, I thought probably he's the colleague of the other guy, so I just followed him. And it just hit me home run when I saw what he was about to tell me. It is the same topic that Nazrin has been telling me for days that it is the one HE wants to do. Screw me! Thinking of no way out because the guy had already gone along the way by calling his other PhD colleague to explain to me what the matter is, I just went along with them. For the first few minutes, my brain went blank because honestly, I had no idea whatsoever what this thing is..because it is NAZRIN's fav thing. I really wanted to bang my head to the wall for being so careless. But I really gave credit to those guys though, the project is amazing and the possibility of generating useful applications are tremendous.
Anyway, after everything finished I really don't have the mood to go to Emmy Noether Campus (which is in town 25 minutes away from Paul Bonatz building where ZESS is located) to return my already-fined-for-returning-late books and went home instead and blurt out everything to Nazrin. He was pissed off. I knew from his face (well of course, it's 4 years of marriage already, he can't hide those expressions from me!) and even though I said I'm sorry for being so careless; he just ignored me. You know, this is the absolute reason why I hate marrying someone from your own class..he just thought of you as competitor! I don't know why it hits me like that, but seeing his face with some kind of judgment that I want to stole the topic from him is ridiculous. Well, of course I want to succeed by doing things that I like but that doesn't mean by crushing someone else down!
You know, Nazrin is more than a husband.. he's my best friend, my very own Susan Mayer (only he's actually a guy!).. and I hate when we started fighting because even though he doesn't talk much.. we're comfortable in silence (if u know what I mean..) It's just that, I really wanna see him succeed more than anything in the world and I just don't understand that why he sees me as his competitor rather than just a stupid, careless, talkative-big mouth wife. Give it up already!
Well, I hope I am sorry after I published this to the web.. because if I don't; I am really a stupid, careless, talkative-big mouth wife.
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